Games for mastering nonverbal means of communication. Exercise with elements of training "development of non-verbal forms of communication" material on the topic Games for the development of non-verbal means of communication

NLP: Effective Presentation Skills Robert Dilts

Chapter 7. Developing Nonverbal Communication Skills

Identifies key areas of nonverbal communication relevant to presentations and learns the necessary skills to support nonverbal presentations.

Messages and meta messages

Basic nonverbal communication skills

Using behavioral microcues

Messages and meta messages

The ability of people to learn effectively in a group depends on their ability to interact with each other. Communication between group members takes place both at the verbal and non-verbal levels, and both of these levels influence the behavior of the group as an integral entity.

Using nonverbal methods, the facilitator can recognize and encourage the positive state that arises spontaneously in the group. One of the methods is called formation. Shaping is about encouraging something at the physiological level. As an example, you can tell the story of a psychology professor who conducted an experiment with a group of university students. He instructed students to compliment or nonverbally express approval of women wearing red sweaters. They shouldn't have mentioned the sweater per se, but rather said something like, “Oh, you look so good today,” or simply smiled at them. About a week later, when the professor entered the cafeteria, it was full of women dressed in red sweaters.

It is clear that the students, in turn, decided to test this method on the professor. They agreed that when the professor was in one half of the audience, everyone would yawn and feign boredom, and when he moved to the other half, everyone would sit up straight, nod their heads and feign interest in every possible way. After some time, the professor discovered that he had transferred all his activities to one half of the classroom!

Managers often use these methods, but usually they do it unconsciously. For example, one of the company's senior management IBM unconsciously used a shaping method, leading people to "discover" that they agreed with his approach. When he spoke to someone who was thinking along the same lines as him, he was a wonderful, very active listener, constantly maintaining eye contact, nodding his head and saying: “Oh, really?”, “That’s very interesting,” “Tell me about it.” in more detail." If a person began to deviate from the direction he desired, he looked with an unseeing gaze and hummed: “Uh-huh... uh-huh.” It was like talking to a brick wall. But as soon as the person got back on track, the manager would perk up again and take a keen interest in his line of reasoning. And eventually people found themselves adopting a similar way of thinking to him without knowing why.

Signals of this type are considered as meta messages. In the basic communication process, two types of messages are transmitted: the content of the communication and the meta-message, which belongs to a higher level and is a message about the content. Meta message is a message about other messages. As a rule, it contains information: a) about the type or level of the message sent; b) about the human condition; c) about the mutual status or relationships of group members. People can also send meta messages about messages they would like to receive (similar to the manager from IBM).

Metamessages are necessary to interpret messages. There is a difference between being a person said, and the fact that he intended to report. That is, the message received is not always the same message that the sender intended to send. In practice, communication will have the meaning for the recipient that he “perceives”, regardless of the intentions of the sender.

Three basic microcommunication processes are involved in managing the interaction between messages and metamessages.

1. Using observation and feedback skills to reduce discrepancies between messages sent and received.

2. Selecting and combining messages and meta messages.

3. Ensuring that micro messages support the macro message and drive communication towards the desired outcome.

Messages and meta messages

The influence of verbal and nonverbal communication

In communication, two types of messages can be distinguished:

1) verbal content;

2) non-verbal meta-messages, i.e. messages about the nature of the verbal message sent.

– Meta messages are necessary to interpret messages.

– Meta messages are often analog, for example:

intonation highlighting of a certain part of a sentence;

– In a group, meta messages often contain information about the members' relationships.

Basic provisions

Effective communication includes both messages and metamessages. A meta message is a message about other messages and helps the recipient interpret the meaning of the message. Meta messages typically indicate the context, state, relationship, or level at which the message is sent or is to be received.

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Silently greeting each other (elements of psycho-gymnastics) - everyone silently walks around the class, touches each other, looks into each other’s eyes, without saying any words.

Invite participants to walk around the room and touch each other with their eyes closed. Try to determine with whom the kinesthetic contact occurs.

Exercise to develop peripheral vision. Select a point and look at it motionlessly, trying to see as much as possible (defocusing your gaze).

Discussion of the importance of peripheral vision in the process of communication. Information that it is with peripheral vision that we notice small movements.

28. “Facial expressions and gestures.” The group is divided into pairs. Each person uses only their hands to show two opposite states (for example, anger and pleasure).

The same thing, only with the help of facial expressions (without gestures). The same with the help of facial expressions and gestures. Reflection.

29. “Greeting to the Queen.” A chair is placed on the table, the queen is sitting on the chair, the rest of the group are her subjects who should greet her. When performing the exercise, it is possible to use attributes that help you enter the role (this exercise will allow you to feel different positions in the communication process ).

Reflection: your feelings from an unusual role, the feeling of “open space”, communication distance.

30. “Choosing a distance.” Work in pairs. One partner sits on the floor, the other stands at a close distance. In this position, the conversation is conducted for 5-7 minutes. Then the partners change roles. „

Reflection. Pay attention to the feeling of distance.

31. “The Blind Man and the Guide.” The group is divided into pairs. Partners in pairs change from exercise to exercise. One of the partners must close his eyes, and the other must lead him around the room, introduce him to this room, protect him from collisions, give explanations, so as is the “eyes” of the first.

Start a discussion: “How important is it in our lives to trust people and ourselves? We often lack this, and we lose a lot because there is no trust.” Issues for discussion:

Did you feel confident as a blind person? Was there a desire to completely trust your partner? What gave you such confidence?

32. “Auction of sculptures”. Work in pairs. It is better if the partners in pairs change. One of the partners plays the role of “sculptor”, the other - “material”. The sculptor “sculpts” the sculpture silently, using only his hands. The sculpture remembers the final version of the work in order to demonstrate it later. Then the partners change roles. There is a demonstration of sculptures, each given a name.

Reflection. Answer the questions: Is the material “pliable”? What is the nature of the sculptor’s touch? Pay attention to the subjectivity of perception of sculptures: what sensation is generated from this or that position of the body? Does our body always listen to us? Doesn't it feel like the body lives independently?

33. Touch your index fingers to your partner, move your arms in different directions to dance music, be in motion. Try not to break contact. Reflect.

34. “Reflection of the emotional state” (“mirror”). All participants are divided into pairs. One plays the role of a mirror, which should reflect the emotional state shown by the partner. The exercise is performed silently. The emotional state is shown through facial expressions and pantomime. Everyone performs the exercise 3 times (different emotional states).

35. “Wax stick”. A game to create an atmosphere of trust and support in the group. Everyone stand in a circle closer to each other. One participant enters the center of the circle. The player in the center relaxes. The rest, placing their hands in front of them, sway the participant in the center from side to side. Supporting him, do not allow him to fall for 1-2 minutes. Let everyone go through the procedure.

Issues for discussion:

Who was able to relax and remove the clamps?

Who wasn't afraid of falling?

Assess the nature of the touch. Everyone is invited to speak. The game conditions can be complicated. One stands on a chair, the whole group stands behind with their hands up. The person standing on the chair falls backwards. Those standing catch him, preventing him from falling.

36. When talking with a family member or friend, incorrect behavior is deliberately used (looking to the side, changing the topic of conversation to something that is interesting to the initiator of the contact, feigning a sad look). At other times, the conversation should be conducted competently (visual contact, maintaining a conversation that is interesting for the interlocutor, smiling). Compare your health.

37. A small message is written on a piece of paper. Then, using gestures, this message is transmitted to the communication partner. The exercise is performed until the partner lets you know that the message is understood. Correct understanding is checked by recording. The exercise can be performed in pairs, by all group members at the same time. Either one pair performs, the rest of the group are spectators. Then you can check the understanding of the situation by all participants in the lesson.

38. Depict an emotional state (anger, joy, resentment, expectation, etc.) using

Facial expressions and gestures.

39. Using gestures and facial expressions, depict the psychological characteristics of a person (oneself, another), the content of a proverb, saying.

40. Express non-verbally (facial expressions, pantomime) a given topic. Topics can be chosen in a group discussion, or can be asked by the facilitator (“how I overcome difficulties”).

41. Examples for analyzing situations.

a) The man, having become the head of the department, ordered one chair to be left in his office for himself, all chairs were ordered to be removed.

Analyze this situation from the standpoint of interaction, give other examples.

b) You made purchases in the store, when you came home and laid out what you bought, you saw that not everything was taken from the counter. You go to the store to pick up what you forgot.

Options for talking to the seller.

Variants of behavior in a given situation are played out, then an analysis of verbal and non-verbal methods of communication is carried out.

42. “Animal”. The exercise is intended for teachers and is performed either at home or in a separate room before the lesson. Prepare for yourself a set of cards on which write the names of animals that are characteristic in appearance and familiar to you (for example, wolf, hare, lion, foxes, hippopotamuses, snakes). Take out one of the cards at random and play out the role of the animal marked on it in poses and movements. Then take another card. It’s good if you do the exercise in front of a mirror. Allow yourself to be completely free in facial expressions and pantomime, perhaps , even a little funny.

43. “Emotion”. Prepare in advance a set of cards on which you mark the emotions and parts of the person’s body with which these emotions should be expressed. For example, the card “Sadness. Hands” means that the emotion of sadness should be expressed with the help of hands.

The following emotions can be marked on the cards: “Grief.” Face", "Joy. Lips", "Swagger. Right hand", "Pride. Back", "Fear. Legs" etc.

The exercise is aimed at activating a complex of acting abilities and achieving a state of relaxation and freedom.

44. “Video camera.” Instructions from the facilitator: If for one reason or another you cannot entrust the resolution of your conflict to another person, then we can offer you an exercise that will help you update your external position regarding the conflict situation through your own internal means of intellectual decentration. Exercise do it individually - at home, during recess, on the way to work.The purpose of the exercise is to develop the ability to independently comprehend your conflict situation, as if from the outside, from the outside.

To relieve acute emotional tension, if any, conduct a short relaxation session before performing the exercise. When you feel some calm, try to imagine the history of the development of your conflictual relationship in the form of a kind of movie script: when you first saw the person with whom you subsequently had complications in your relationship, what was your first impression, what common affairs and activities united you with him, at what point did the relationship begin to deteriorate, what did you do and say, what did he do and say, etc. Imagine all these situations in their real sequence, as if you were filming on a video camera. At the same time, you reproduce in detail the situation and conditions of each of these situations, its other participants, the dynamics of the development of the conflict and its apogee.

There is no time limit for this exercise. You will feel it yourself when you begin to “move away” from the conflict and approach it more calmly, soberly and objectively. But in any case, you should not engage in such introspection for more than 40-45 minutes, so as not to “get bogged down” in the sphere of your consciousness and lose your life. connection with reality.

45. “Pressure”. Instructions. The game is played in pairs. Stand opposite each other, raise your arms at chest level and lightly touch your palms. Agree on who will be the leader. His task is to lightly press on the palms of his partner. Then switch roles and repeat movement of pressure on the palm of a playing partner.

Express your impressions to each other. In which situation were you more emotionally comfortable - when you pressed or when your partner pressed on your palms? Perhaps you did not experience pleasant moments in either the first or second case. Then try not to put pressure on each other, but to implement joint movements with the palms of your hands facing each other so that a mutual feeling of warmth arises between you (psychoenergetic contact).

Have you felt how much more pleasant it is to interact as equals rather than to achieve superiority? Implementation joint activities when communicating with a colleague, it gives more positive emotions than confrontation and struggle over who will be the first to seize communicative leadership and implement the “over” position. In addition, do not forget that by seeking psychological pressure on a communication partner, you risk causing him the reaction is not submission, but indignation, and instead of helping, he will simply refuse contact with you. Think about what is better?

Silently greeting each other (elements of psycho-gymnastics) - everyone silently walks around the class, touches each other, looks into each other’s eyes, without saying any words.

Invite participants to walk around the room and touch each other with their eyes closed. Try to determine with whom the kinesthetic contact occurs.

Exercise to develop peripheral vision. Select a point and look at it motionlessly, trying to see as much as possible (defocusing your gaze).

Discussion of the importance of peripheral vision in the process of communication. Information that it is with peripheral vision that we notice small movements.

28. “Facial expressions and gestures.” The group is divided into pairs. Each person uses only their hands to show two opposite states (for example, anger and pleasure).

The same thing, only with the help of facial expressions (without gestures). The same with the help of facial expressions and gestures. Reflection.

Reflection: your feelings from an unusual role, the feeling of “open space”, communication distance.

Reflection. Pay attention to the feeling of distance.

Start a discussion: “How important is it in our lives to trust people and ourselves? We often lack this, and we lose a lot because there is no trust.” Issues for discussion:

Did you feel confident as a blind person? Was there a desire to completely trust your partner? What gave you such confidence?

33. Touch your index fingers to your partner, move your arms in different directions to dance music, be in motion. Try not to break contact. Reflect.

Issues for discussion:

Who was able to relax and remove the clamps?

Who wasn't afraid of falling?

38. Depict an emotional state (anger, joy, resentment, expectation, etc.) using

Facial expressions and gestures.

39. Using gestures and facial expressions, depict the psychological characteristics of a person (oneself, another), the content of a proverb, saying.

40. Express non-verbally (facial expressions, pantomime) a given topic. Topics can be chosen in a group discussion, or can be asked by the facilitator (“how I overcome difficulties”).

41. Examples for analyzing situations.

a) The man, having become the head of the department, ordered one chair to be left in his office for himself, all chairs were ordered to be removed.

Analyze this situation from the standpoint of interaction, give other examples.

b) You made purchases in the store, when you came home and laid out what you bought, you saw that not everything was taken from the counter. You go to the store to pick up what you forgot.

Options for talking to the seller.

Variants of behavior in a given situation are played out, then an analysis of verbal and non-verbal methods of communication is carried out.

The following emotions can be marked on the cards: “Grief.” Face", "Joy. Lips", "Swagger. Right hand", "Pride. Back", "Fear. Legs" etc.

The exercise is aimed at activating a complex of acting abilities and achieving a state of relaxation and freedom.

Have you felt how much more pleasant it is to interact as equals rather than to achieve superiority? Carrying out joint activities in communication with a colleague gives more positive emotions than confrontation and struggle over who will be the first to seize communicative leadership and implement the “over” position. In addition, do not forget that by seeking psychological pressure on a communication partner, you risk cause his reaction not of submission, but of indignation, and instead of helping, he will simply refuse contact with you. Think about what is better?

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Exercise objectives: based on the characteristics of expressive movements and gestures, learn to understand certain emotional states of others, adequately use non-verbal methods of communication to effectively interact with people.

♦ Involve others in playful communication.

♦ Perform exercises in front of a mirror, relying on both visual control and motor sensations.

♦ The exercises are designed for complete internal liberation.

Exercise 1

Using facial expressions, express different attitudes to the question “How are you?” (use of gestures is possible).

"OK, thank you".

"Doesn't matter".

“I can’t even answer.”

“I live very well.”

"Disgusting."

"More good than bad."

Exercise 2

Make a grimace that will make you laugh.

Exercise 3. Unexpected guest

Show your attitude (without taking into account the strict rules of etiquette) towards the appearance of an unexpected guest.

Exercise 4

Do it in pairs. Ask each other questions; when answering a question, use only facial expressions.

Exercise 5

“Try on” a variety of smiles in front of the mirror. Depict what a smile might look like (shy, cold, kind, mocking, tortured, etc.).

Exercise 6

Draw different shapes with your gaze (on the wall, in the sky).

Without turning your head, move your gaze along the perimeter of your vision: from top to bottom, to the right, from bottom to top, to the left, etc.

Quickly concentrate your gaze on any point on the object in front of you.

Keep your gaze on a distant object for several minutes.

Exercise 7. Observer

Gradually take a closer look at someone's face. Imagine the face you are studying smiling, angry, sad, mocking, scared.

Observe the postures, gestures, movements and facial expressions of two people communicating.

Exercise 8

Depict different emotional states in front of the mirror: joy, anger, fear, tenderness, pleasure, amazement, interest, despair, excitement, shame. Change poses and masks.

Exercise 9. Make a sculpture

Draw the following poses in front of the mirror: a thinker, a violinist, a sleeping coachman, a boxer, a dental patient, a driver, a shooter, a navvy, a weightlifter, a speaker, a skier, a passenger standing in a vehicle, etc.

Exercise 10

Take a communication pose: the body is slightly tilted towards the interlocutor, your arms are open and turned towards him, a friendly look and a friendly expression.

Exercise 11

Walk at a military and walking pace, with a mincing, graceful, cheerful gait, dancing, skipping, hanging your head, quickly, looking around, stepping carefully. Depict the gait of a dreamer, an arrogant man, a coquette, a sailor, a dude, a lame man, an old man. Come up with and depict as many options as possible.

Exercise 12. I am not me!

Transform into some animal, bird, insect (bear, kangaroo, fox, elephant, turtle, woodpecker, hippopotamus, heron, fly, goose, etc.). Play with the animal's habits in poses and movements. The exercise is designed for complete internal liberation.

Exercise 13

Using gestures and movements, depict a series of actions of any activity (cooking, ironing, singing, drawing, viewing an exhibition, artistic embroidery, dancing, etc.).

Exercise 14

Carefully observe the other person's actions, trying to catch his feelings. Then repeat all the movements, exactly imitating the speed of gestures, body position, and facial expressions.

Exercise 15

Reproduce gestures, gait, and posture characteristic of a particular situation. Become aware of the states and feelings that arise in this situation:

You walk through a forest where there are a lot of mosquitoes (along a narrow path in the mountains, through a swamp, along the seashore, over broken glass, along a rock ledge, along a shaky bridge, along a rope);

In the store you make your way through the crowd to the counter;

You are cheering at the stadium during a football match;

Hurry up for the train;

Playing snowballs;

You give up your comfortable seat to someone else;

Model from clay;

Doing your hair, shaving;

Light up the stove;

Picking apples in the garden;

Rub under the mastic;

Raise the weight;

Looking for something in a dark room;

Unravel the ball of thread;

In front of the mirror you admire yourself in a new suit;

Playing with dolls;

You are riding a horse.

Act in imaginary circumstances with mental speech to yourself until you complete the action.

Exercise 16

Imagine that you enter a room where several people are sitting. You need to slip into the place unnoticed. And now, on the contrary, everyone should pay attention to you. How do you get around the room?

Exercise 17

Act out the sketch. You need to take something from the desk drawer, and there is a dog in the corner of the room. Walk around the room as if the dog doesn't know you at all.

Card index of games for developing communication skills.

"Cows, dogs, cats"

Goals : development of the ability for non-verbal communication, concentration of auditory attention; fostering a caring attitude towards each other; developing the ability to hear others.

Progress of the game. The presenter says: “Please stand in a wide circle. I will go up to everyone and whisper the name of the animal in their ear. Remember it well, because later you will need to become this animal. Don’t tell anyone what I whispered to you.” The leader whispers to each child in turn: “You will be a cow,” “You will be a dog,” “You will be a cat.” “Now close your eyes and forget human language. You should only speak the way your animal “speaks.” You can walk around the room without opening your eyes. As soon as you hear “your animal,” move towards it. Then, holding hands, the two of you walk together to find other children who “speak your language.” An important rule: do not shout and move very carefully.” The first time you play the game, you can play it with your eyes open.

"Press conference"

Goals : develop effective communication skills; cultivate a desire to communicate and make contact with other children; teach children to ask various questions on a given topic and maintain a conversation.

Progress of the game: All children in the group participate. Any well-known topic is chosen, for example: “My daily routine”, “My pet”, “My toys”, “My friends”, etc.

One of the participants in the press conference - the “guest” - sits in the center of the hall and answers any questions from the participants.

Sample questions for the topic “My friends”: Do you have many friends? Are you more interested in being friends with boys or girls? Why do your friends love you, do you think? What should you be like to have more friends? What should you not do with your friends? Etc.

"Secret"

Goals : to form a desire to communicate with peers; overcome shyness; find different ways to achieve your goal.

Progress of the game: The presenter distributes small objects to all participants: a button, a brooch, a small toy,... . It's a secret. Participants pair up. They must persuade each other to reveal their “secret”.

Children must come up with as many ways of persuasion as possible (guessing; giving compliments; promising a treat; not believing that there is something in the fist)

Game "Meeting"

Goal: Develop communication skills

Progress of the game. The children break into pairs and tell each other about how they went to the kindergarten

"Who loves more"

A child is selected to be the driver, the rest of the children are divided into two groups. The driver steps aside, and the groups take turns shouting loudly: “We love... (Sasha)!”, while calling the driver’s name. The leader determines which group shouted louder. She is believed to have won.

"Massage with feelings"