No one needs your calls: why is it better to write SMS in the 21st century? Essay on the topic: Why the world needs tolerance (letter to a friend) Why it is better to write rather than call
Anna IZMAILOVA
Business coach, employee of the Stockholm School of Economics in Russia
Should I write a letter to my partner or immediately call him with a proposal, a new idea, or criticism of the project? As a rule, we choose the option that is more convenient for us, without thinking that the person on the other end of the line may have a different opinion. But not only the speed of the response, but sometimes the result of the negotiations depends on what type of communication is convenient for the interlocutor.
How often have you heard: “I’m busy right now, I’ll call you back,” and then no call followed? This behavior does not always mean a polite refusal. Some people prefer email to mobile phones. And sometimes they can be understood.
People like to plan their day themselves, and a call, as a rule, interferes with plans and ruins an orderly schedule. Often businessmen do not belong to themselves, their working day is scheduled minute by minute, so many of them will be grateful if you replace the call with a letter. However, there are those who definitely prefer telephone conversations to written communication.
Call me
In addition to the obviously greater speed of communication, a call has another important advantage - it can convey not only information, but also emotions. Sometimes it is important for a person to hear a voice in order to form an opinion about a potential partner and either close the door in front of you or open it wide to meet a commercial offer.
Often such people are extroverts - their innate sociability is stronger than the desire to act strictly according to plan. “Why write when you can just call?” - they think. And this is quite logical: indeed, why complicate everything if you can get answers to all questions in a matter of minutes?
The frantic pace of life does not prevent sociable people from finding time for a telephone conversation of any duration
In addition, a telephone call allows you to better assimilate information using auditory memory, check the competence of the interlocutor and the speed of his reaction, get to know him as a person, quickly make a counter-offer, and simply enjoy the communication.
The frantic pace of life does not prevent sociable people from finding time for a telephone conversation of any duration. As a last resort, you can always make a few calls in the car while stuck in traffic. Having received a call at an inconvenient moment, such people will definitely call back or will not mind a repeat call from you.
What should you pay attention to during a telephone conversation?
Don't start a conversation without introducing himself. At the same time, it is advisable to avoid the hackneyed phrase “You are worried about...” or “You are worried about...”. By telling a person that you are bothering him, you are creating a negative attitude towards yourself and your call.
Be sure to inquire whether the person is busy, and whether it is convenient for him to talk.
Get to the point as fast as possible.
Adjust to the speed interlocutor's speech. It usually corresponds to the speed of assimilation of information, so it is important not to let the interlocutor who speaks too quickly get bored, or who speaks too slowly to lose his train of thought.
Use the Hold function on your phone if you need to leave the other person on the line and at the same time protect him from unnecessary sounds around you. However, before you press the Hold button, you need to ask the other person if it would be convenient for him to wait for you on the line.
The main rule of telephone communication - listen to the person. Do not allow yourself to interrupt him and always give him the opportunity to express his thoughts to the end.
Write letters
Despite the increasingly rapid spread of mobile technologies, modern research suggests that for most people, email is the most convenient way to receive information. Thus, during a survey by Yahoo! It turned out that 74% of office workers consider e-mail to be their preferred method of communication, and a study by Litmus conducted in January 2014 by Email Analytics showed that incoming e-mails are increasingly less likely to be ignored. If at the beginning of 2013 only 21% of all letters were read, then in December 2013 their number increased to 51%.
Probably, in a study by Yahoo! Mostly introverts participated, but it is difficult to believe that the ratio of psychological types was so unequal. Perhaps mail really is more convenient?
many people have a harder time getting back to work after talking on the phone
People prefer to read emails rather than talk on the phone because they can do it at a time that suits them, rather than when your cold calling plan goes awry. Nobody forces them to listen to an unnecessary sentence and say banal phrases in response. When refusing something, they do not need to come up with excuses or feel awkward. There is also no need to ask again for the name, position and company name of the recipient. When you receive a letter from a stranger, you can Google his name or go to his company’s website. In addition, many people have a harder time getting back to work after talking on the phone.
What should not be forgotten in business correspondence?
Give your letters titles , but avoid meaningless titles. Try to come up with succinct headings that really correspond to the subject of the letter, so that your interlocutor can easily navigate his mail.
Try to provide comprehensive information on the topic. Insert links, attach files - there is no need to force your interlocutor to write you a response letter asking you to clarify something, because by the time you receive it and respond, it may take several more hours.
Include in your message excerpts from the letter you are responding to. Perhaps some time will pass from the moment of sending and the interlocutor will forget what was discussed.
Read letters carefully , you may miss something important and create unnecessary misunderstandings.
Use short automatic a signature in which you must indicate alternative methods of contacting you, in case your interlocutor hates email.
What to choose
Perhaps the time is not far off when business cards will indicate only one possible communication option - mail or mobile phone. Until this happens, before you call or send another e-mail, you should think not only about what type of communication is convenient for you, but also what your partner, colleague or client prefers.
There are several ways to find out what type your intended interlocutor is.
Ask directly : “How will it be convenient for you to continue communication in the future?”
Note to markers in the interlocutor’s speech - “send me an email, I’ll take a look”, “I won’t be able to talk”, “in our company everyone reads email all the time.”
Analyze the area activities - how often a person goes on business trips and meetings.
Understand psychological type - whether there are obvious communication barriers, whether the person is restrained in communication or feels free.
By correctly determining the type of interlocutor, you will increase the likelihood of successful communication. Combined with an individual approach to each interlocutor, a good attitude and the results of successful negotiations will not take long to arrive.
But if you still consider only one type of communication acceptable, and would prohibit all others at the first opportunity, try to accustom your client or partner to your method of communication, but do it carefully, minimizing stress. And the recommendations described above will help you gain confidence in order to recruit a person into your camp.
Cover photo: Fotobank/GettyImages
Letters today are completely irrelevant. This is especially true for those written by hand, because all this is the last century. Electronic messaging is all the rage these days. They are, as a rule, very short and they only talk about vital information, that is, there is no romance, no feelings present in them.
Still, it’s a pity that people stopped writing letters, because each person put a small part of himself and his experiences into them. Previously, they tried to write as much as possible in them, since they did not reach the recipient in a day, and sometimes not in two. They could go for a whole week, or even a month.
The letters that young men from the front once wrote to their loved ones, who were faithfully awaiting their return, were imbued with a special romance. These triangles were so important and significant that many centuries have passed, and they are still kept and passed down from generation to generation.
But now is the time innovative technologies, which overshadowed any feelings. Today, writing letters by hand is not popular. The same applies to telegrams, which previously seemed to reach the addressee instantly. But still, their speed was eclipsed by messages via electronic media. Moreover, people began to communicate less in person, because communication on social networks is enough for them. But this cannot replace touches, a gentle look that you can accidentally meet during a conversation with a dear interlocutor.
People who lived in the 19th century had a completely different opinion. Then the epistolary genre flourished. At that time, letters were used not only to convey relevant information, but also to convey cherished thoughts. Here people were completely sincere and truthful. And that meant a lot. It seems to me that the whole point is that it is much easier to write about some feelings than to talk about them during live communication.
In addition, earlier the epistolary genre was often used in fiction. I believe that the most striking example of this is the correspondence between Onegin and Tatyana. Their letters were very emotional, but at the same time they were endowed with sincerity.
Tatiana's letters to Eugene are only confirmation of her love. It was very difficult for her to decide on this act, but still this heroine was ready to do anything for the sake of her feelings, which constantly tormented her.
Tatyana writes her letters at night, when she is very excited after her conversation with the nanny. But still, she decides to take such a reckless act, despite the fact that in this century it is absolutely not customary for a girl to be the first to show her feelings towards a man. This act is not without insolence. Tatyana understands this, which is why she is so worried. In this letter, the girl practically entrusts her fate to Evgeniy and is afraid to even imagine how he will react to this emotional, thoughtless act. The heroine most likely does not even realize that because of this letter her reputation and honor are at stake.
When the recipient reads the message that was written by Tatyana, he catches her excitement and the mood with which she wrote the lines. The girl first addresses Onegin as “you”, and after a while as “you”. Evgeniy soon also confesses to Tatyana about his feelings, which he has been nurturing for a long time.
Thus, it should be noted that letters in this work are a very important element, since it is thanks to them that the reader can trace the mood of the characters, and the general development of events. Therefore, it is very sad that people have stopped writing letters, but still today is a completely different time, so you need to keep up with progress and strive only forward.
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“Phone calls as verbal communication can cause tension in a person of any age - for example, I avoid them at all costs, preferring to communicate through correspondence. In some cases, this causes inconvenience - for example, when you are looking for a job, and the employer leaves a telephone number for contact. Honestly, sometimes I missed some offers because I couldn’t bring myself to call.”
7. The call takes away your freedom of choice.
6. Unreliability of oral negotiations
If someone promised you something over the phone, you will never be able to prove the fact of the promise itself if the person does not fulfill it. And in this case, the preference for correspondence is again evident: any words can be confirmed, because they are written down.
5. Non-urgent matters can wait.
Previous generations were accustomed to discussing even the smallest details over the phone. This is understandable, because telegrams, letters and carrier pigeons took much longer to reach people. But the current generation believes that distracting a person from life with a loud, ill-timed call for the sake of a small question is rude: you can write! After all, the speed of the Internet is still different from the speed of pigeon mail. The recipient will receive the message instantly, and will respond when he has time for such non-urgent matters.
4. Text is the weapon of introverts
If you are an extrovert, you may exclaim in displeasure and vigorously scroll the page to the next point. Introverts will agree that in the text no one can shout down, interrupt or emotionally manipulate you. In the text everyone is equal. In addition, through text you can easily formulate complete thoughts and select suitable phrases, without then reproaching yourself for a whole month for not having the courage, speed or imagination to respond correctly to your opponent.
3. You don’t want to catch your interlocutor in an awkward place
Your phone just rings out when you are driving, in the subway, on a noisy street, in a club, at work or in a company where no one should hear this call - is this a familiar situation? According to the law of the genre, after your incredible efforts in trying to find a quiet place, you will hear on the other end of the line just the news that some Kardashian has given birth to another child.
There are no such inconveniences with messages.
2. In a letter you can do what is difficult to do in a conversation.
The letter is liberating: it is much easier to ask a girl out on a date by writing her a message on a social network, especially if you don’t have the courage in real life. And with the help of a letter, it is easier to ask for forgiveness, reveal your feelings, admit something, or even humiliate a person. Or just write nasty comments.
1. I don’t want to waste time
“Hello, hello, am I distracting you? Are you comfortable talking now? Can you give me some time? Are you even busy right now? I'll just be a minute. I’m still distracting, right?” - thus, the first 10 minutes of a telephone conversation may be spent explaining that you still have time and are ready to listen to your interlocutor.
Therefore, it is better to remember a simple rule: messages are for facts, telephones are for emotions.
Admit it, do you like this future? Would you support these rules?
Essay on the topic: Why the world needs tolerance (letter to a friend)
Hello, dear distant friend! You don't know me yet, but I hope we can become friends. My name is Diana, I was born and live in Russia. I love my country and my people very much. I hope you have heard about my country - it is very big, beautiful, rich. Russian art is known all over the world: literature, music, theater...
Maybe you've heard that Russia used to be part of the USSR - the Soviet Union. It was a huge and powerful state that united many peoples, including my native Armenian.
You know, I almost missed the times of the USSR, but, according to the stories of my relatives, all the peoples in this state lived peacefully and amicably. They considered themselves one big family, respected each other, the characteristics of each people, their culture, even their appearance...
Unfortunately, all this has now disappeared. In our country, as throughout the world, nationalist and racial sentiments are intensifying. People treat people from the Caucasus, Arabs, and Muslims in general with distrust or disdain and contempt. I understand that all this is “not from a good life.” You know very well that in our country, like in yours, of course, terrorist acts have been committed. A lot of innocent people, old people, children died.
One of the worst terrorist attacks took place during the screening of the musical “Nord-Ost” on Dubrovka. Can you imagine, people, many with their families and children, came to watch a fun performance. For all spectators it turned out to be a nightmare, for many it became the last spectacle of their lives...
Although no! The last sight for them were people in masks, speaking an incomprehensible language and ready to kill at any moment for any action. It seems to me that many hostages at that time were tormented by the thought: “Why?” Why do these masked animal people want to kill them, what did they do that was so bad, how did they offend them? Why should children pay for the games of politicians, for the struggle for power and money, for other people’s ambitions?
The whole world asked this question a little later, when the dead bodies were taken out of the theater on Dubrovka...
And the terrible, incomprehensible terrorist attack in Beslan, when a school was captured, where there were children who came to a peace lesson on September 1. But this was no longer a Russian city, not Moscow, but North Ossetia. This once again confirms the idea that terrorists have no nationality, no loyalties, no heart. You know, I think it’s difficult to call them people: they are terrible creatures in human form, death machines, killers. And no one will ever prove to me that they commit their crimes out of some of their beliefs, principles, codes. For all people there is only one, most important, code - the code of humanity. And everything else is no longer from God, but from the devil...
Although, what am I telling you about terrorists? Your people suffered no less from them, remember at least the World War shopping mall in NYC. You know, sometimes it seems to me that the world has gone crazy... Or rather, not the world, but the people living in it. We all sorely lack love for each other, mutual understanding and respect, tolerance... Do you think there was more of this in the world before? And where did all this go, what is the reason for people’s wild aggression?
My grandmother says that people do evil because they feel unhappy. A happy person strives to make the world around him better, brighter, more joyful, he strives to increase the amount of happiness and happy people around him. But the same thing happens with unhappiness... So why have people become more unhappy? You know, I listened to a program in which they said that almost all the inhabitants of our planet believe that the world has become more dangerous, it has become harder to live in it. People are afraid of their future, they don’t want to know about it!
I understand that the world and our lives in it are rapidly developing. Sometimes we don’t even keep up with this development. Do you remember, as with science fiction writers, the world is owned not by man, but by the creations of the human mind - highly intelligent machines. But I think that’s not what scares people in the first place. They are concerned about “urgent matters”: unemployment, economic crisis, poverty. After all, the well-being of their family, the lives of their children and elderly parents directly depend on this.
But, in addition, people are also concerned about the condition environment, worsening every year, and the approaching warriors, and the same terrorist attacks. Can we prevent all this? Politicians, heads of state, various public organizations are doing this. Whether it’s successful or not, I don’t know... But I think that every person can help make this world a little better. What is needed for this, you ask... It seems to me that we simply treat each other with great respect, with great respect, patience and understanding.
We are all very different, at first glance. But, at our core, we are all very similar. We all want love, security, care. We all want happiness for our loved ones, peace, the opportunity to work and relax happily, to make this world a better place. Maybe you just shouldn’t stop yourself from being happy? Maybe we should just allow ourselves to be good? What do you think?
I would be very glad if you share your thoughts on this matter. How do people in your country feel about everything that happens around them? What do they say in your family? Do you agree with my thoughts?
I'll wait for an answer. Greetings from Russia,...
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By the will of fate, back in high school, I was thrown into the world of journalism, where constant contacts with strangers are an integral, daily and routine part of the work. I have never had problems with communication in general - I easily find a common language with a wide variety of people. But it was only when it became part of my direct duties that I realized how much I really hated calling.
I started thinking: “Is there something wrong with me? Maybe I'm a social phobe? Maybe this is not my field of activity at all, if in order to make a call to the next PR person, I need to do a lot of work on myself?” And then even calls from management - people who seemed to be acquaintances - became stressful. But if for them this is the most quick way get answers to all their questions, then for me - “Where did I screw up? What did I do wrong?
But compared to how much I hate calling relatives, conversations with my boss are just baby talk. And, as it turned out, I am not alone in this swamp of immorality. One day I came across a tweet: “Only a woman in labor can at least roughly imagine my agony when I have to congratulate a relative on their birthday over the phone.” Yes, with family in this regard, perhaps the most difficult situation is because many of the older grandparents have not heard of WhatsApp, Telegram or even Viber in their lives.
And this is very sad, because in this age social networks and actively developing messengers, writing a message is much easier than calling. A friend of mine once told his potential girlfriend: “You better not call me. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, it’s just that for me it’s like... You’re sitting at home, not bothering anyone, and then a friend with whom you don’t want to go for a walk starts banging on the door. You pretend to be dead and don’t open it to him, but he continues to yell: “Tolyan, come out!!!”
In general, as soon as I began to find people with the same acute intolerance to telephone calls as mine, it became a little easier. But, as practice shows, it is mediocre Lost time on thematic forums, a cure for this disease has not yet been invented. The only advice from psychologists is: “To stop being afraid to call, you need to come into contact with your fear as often as possible until it completely disappears,” and they don’t lie. True, complete disappearance will not happen. Even if you make the call before you start to get nervous and stress yourself out. At most, your palms will stop sweating (but this is in a very advanced stage of social phobia). Therefore, if you suddenly need to urgently call a colleague, partner or boss right now, think carefully - maybe it’s better, after all, to write an SMS first?
Despite the fact that the question “Why should I hear your voice if I can read your message?” This question is asked by many people these days, but only a few speak and write about it. Or rather, only The Verge columnist Thomas Ricker, whose article spread around the world for a reason - he used numbers and showed that in India, Japan and South Korea they use instant messengers much more often than call. And what is most surprising is that the UK and the USA (as well as Russia) are far behind in these indicators.
In today's world, almost everyone uses a smartphone, so it makes sense that phone etiquette has been around for a long time, too. Here are the points that must be written down on a piece of paper and hung on your desk.
1. If something really important has happened in your life, like an engagement or the birth of a child, a phone call is inappropriate. But writing SMS about this is also wrong. In such cases, it is best to meet. As a last resort, there is Skype and FaceTime.
2. If you need to make a phone call, write a preliminary message in the messenger. Or SMS. If the interlocutor does not answer within an hour, you can call him with peace of mind.
3. The only people you can and should call without warning are elderly relatives who most likely still use push-button phones.
4. If you need to make a call for work (to make a business proposal), first write an e-mail. If you haven’t received a response within 24 hours, please call. But only to a work phone. No personal contacts.
5. Transferring someone else’s number to third parties is strictly prohibited. The exception is if a person has a business card. Then his phone number is considered public.
Etiquette specialist, founder of the Etiquette748 community
“Should I write or call?” - the topic is relatively new, and etiquette experts do not yet have a consensus on this issue. Of course, in the modern world with a high pace of life, when everyone is so busy, writing seems, in most cases, more appropriate - the addressee will read and respond when he finds a convenient time for this. It's tactful.
But I would still like to draw attention to the fact that, in my opinion, there are situations (specifically from the point of view of etiquette) when a call is still preferable. For example, it is believed that condolences should not be expressed in SMS. Congratulations on your birthday or other holiday, of course, also sound warmer and sincere in your “voice.”
But there are also situations when the best option may be a “mix” of a message and a call. For example, if we are talking about an important and not a short conversation, you should first write and specify a convenient time for a telephone conversation, and only then call. In my opinion, it looks very nice.
